When going through a traumatic event like a divorce, it is important to ask for help when you need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean a therapist or a friend, for some it is just filling out the items on this list and looking for help in music, movies, comforts and hobbies to help get you through this.
The Quote
“The words I lived by during my divorce were ‘this too shall pass’ because it spoke to how I process pain. I’ve always been aware that my feelings are my feelings but I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way (I mean, there are billions of people on this planet, if they can get through some of this stuff — including divorce — so can I). I try to acknowledge my feelings, get to the root of my problems and work through the process of feeling the discomfort so I can get back to feeling right again.”
The Meal
“This isn’t something I suggest doing every night, by any means, but my go-to sad meal (and I mean whenever there is something truly terrible happening in the world, not just in my personal life) is a rotisserie chicken, red wine and some cookie dough for dessert. It’s for when things are too much to bear. Lock yourself in the house, turn on ‘We Bought A Zoo’ or something else feel good and ridiculous, hide your phone, don’t let yourself watch the news and just allow yourself to be in that sad moment.”
The Song
“Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Already Gone’ is a haunting, beautiful song about a breakup that seemed so much like mine. My two favorite lyrics: And I want you to know/You couldn’t have loved me better/But I want you to move on/So I’m already gone and You know that I love you so/I love you enough to let you go. You feel a lot less alone when you hear a song that says exactly what you’re feeling.”
The Album
“The album that got me through my divorce? Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Live Era ’87-’93.’ Sometimes you’re just angry and need to hear some damn good guitar. Slash will take care of that for you. My favorite songs on that album are ‘Estranged,’ ‘Yesterdays,’ ‘Patience,’ ‘Mr. Brownstone,’ ‘Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,’ ‘Don’t Cry,’ ‘Paradise City’ and ‘November Rain.’
The Distraction
“I have two boys (currently in first and fourth grade). They are total boys’ boys. They play all kinds of sports and are super athletic. They also love video games like their father — but I hate video games. So for Christmas three years ago I declared, ‘Mom’s house is for dancing!’ I bought a Wii for us and I told them the rules were only dance games are allowed to be played under this roof. It’s so fun and so silly and it burns a ton of calories. We have Hip Hop Revolution, Just Dance and the Michael Jackson Experience (my personal favorite). We have friends over all the time and do Wii dance tournaments. It’s so damn fun.add wine for the adults and it’s even better.”
The TV Shows
“There were two shows. The first was ‘Friends;’ they’ve been my six best friends for years. They’ll never let you down! The other was ‘Scandal’ because it features some serious girl power with some steamy chemistry and romance thrown in!”
The Movie
“The movie I loved after my divorce was ‘The Other Woman.’ Again, it’s great because it’s all about girl power. Plus, it’s funny, smart and ridiculous — and about a divorce.”
The Splurge
“I hired a cleaning lady. Every two weeks she stops by. I hate spending money and I run a tight budget. Still at the end of the week — after dealing with the stress of my crazy job and getting my two boys to all their activities — knowing that I still have to clean the house is just too much. The cleaning lady takes some of that stress away. Work stress isn’t going away and kid stress isn’t going away. It’s worth the money to have a cleaning lady!”
The Book
“I read everything from trashy romance novels to business journals in the midst of my divorce. But the book I consider the most important book I’ve read in the past decade (and recommend to anybody and everybody) is This is How by Augusten Burroughs. It came out the year after my divorce, but as I read it I thought ‘Finally! Someone who gets me!’ There are chapters in it like: How To Get That Job and How to Change The World With Just One Person. It’s like getting great advice from a friend — it will make you laugh, cry and think really hard about your choices and your life. I love Burroughs’ perspective on life.”
What Does An AV Rating Mean?
An AV® Rating, signifies that the lawyer has reached the heights of professional excellence. He or she has usually practiced law for a number of years, and is recognized for the highest levels of skill and integrity.
